Weekend End

Short Re-Cap Of Pigging-out-ness
1 x mars bar
1 x garlic bread starter (oohhhhhh proper garlic, yum)
1 x carbonara archetype nom nom nom
2 x pints of flat beer from Greys. yuk.
1 x half a can of carlsberg export in a shandy. better than flat beer, no?
2 x weetabixeses
1 x rubbery ham & cheese sandwich from tesco
1 x bag of yogurt raisins
1 x burger (in a brown bun with half fat cheese slice - lololololol)

which actually is not so bad, considering it was split over two days. yikes. cheat day on saturday was the first five items, and i really felt pretty deprived in the end as the day did not go as planned owing to blizzards, general wetness and people being out and about in other places. had i known, i wouldn't have got off on the wrong foot by devouring a mars bar in one fell swoop, and would have kept the nummies exclusively to sunday.

but i'm back on the right track, and not so downhearted as i was at the beginning of the weekend (the scales say 4lbs are potentially missing from my normal heffer-sized volume, which is not a lot compared to the weight in £10 notes i'm spending acquiring all these goodies) as i'm pretty sure my face is thinner and looking a wee bit more defined, which is nice.

Diet-snappishness Can Lead To: telling your grandma to flat-out "shut up" over tea in tescos, on commencement of a "your generation doesn't know the value of money etc" type rant. Argh!! Argh!!

Ow. Ouch. Sore. Ouch.

Recap For A Couple Of Days Away From The World Of Blogging
4 x neato quesadillas with quinoa (it's pronounced keen-wah, you know)
1 x turkey rasher breakfast affair
1 x weetabix breakfast
1 x slightly altered killer mexercise workout
1 x lots of interesting snacks
3 x potato wedges of shame
1 x tiny chicken pakora out of parental support units indian takeaway-fest

i been workin like a dawg down the salt mines, so not much time out for the old blogaroo. so, what's to report? slightly altered workout last night, involving some extra sneaky core exercises and some different dumb-bell deadlift things that were more of a glimpse of hell than true muscle toning. but i eventually got out of bed this morning, so it's probably all good.

oh, and someone witnessed my l33t quesadilla making skillz on wednesday and i can report that they are "too spicy" for mere mortals.

once again, i'm getting the "i'm sure i'm not eating enough to support my poor old body" headache/fuzzy morning head, so i have to stop cutting out meals because i screwed up the time - will i ever learn?

Cooking Lessons Learned: 4 minutes under the grill is just long enough to singe the tortillas, but not quite long enough to melt the cheese; quinoa gets everywhere and seems to control its own destiny somehow.

Surprising Revelations: pakoras are stodgier than i remember; parental support units seem to have no shame in eating tasty indian takeaways in front of deprived daughters.

Swerving With The Krush

Mid-morning Break Powered By Snacking Goodness
2 x crispbread heaven
2 x scrapings of quark cheese - this is finally running out, showing just how long diet food can actually last; come the apocolypse, i'm eating naught but quark cheese and twinkies
1 x tangerine
2 x turkey slice helpings made of only one turkey slice. how clever!
1 x carbonated beverage of the diet coke variety
2 x cigarettes because i've missed proper cigarettes
0 x sunflower seeds - oh god, i've run out!!!
1 x bustling nature whilst preparing around the father's presence in the kitchen

...i love these snacks. i looooove them! i loooooooooooooove them! and they're healthy, too. when will i tire of them, though? this worries me.

Diet Anxiety: sunflower seed withdrawal.

Isobel

A Proper Breakfast For A Growing Girl
2 x turkey rashers (much missed recently)
1 x slice seeded bread
2 x egg whites
1 x slice half fat cheese

i think maybe i haven't been eating enough in the last few days - i keep forgetting my times, and getting very confused. this does not take much. although i have enjoyed a day's break from the exercise routine, i'm looking forward to it - my god - later today. i actually got a little restless last night! me! restless for exercise. freaky.

am i being changed, or controlled by the cult-like wisdom of the Five Factor Diet? watch this space.

Meals Missed Over Three Days: two dinners and two snacks. the shame.
Blog Anxiety Caused By: spelling errors and occasional grammar flaws found while re-reading.

Wednesday Much

Light, Diet-Style Breakfast
1 x weetiebix & little bit of sweetner
1 x splash of ice cold milk (why do they always say that in adverts? why?)
3 minute gap to make weetiebix nice n soggy
1 x advent choc - today it was a cute bear in a basket, though i have no idea what that has to do with the festive season

there's a secret code on my advent calendar, and for the life of me the other day i thought the word was "crap" but realised i'd confused a filled in star with a non-filled in star.

i've been on the diet a week and a half now, and i do feel that it's going well. although i'll be happier once the twixes and mars bars are gone out of the fridge. happily, after saturday and the oogly-tum from hell, i've finally stomped out my pork pie cravings. and possibly even red meat cravings entirely. which is a bit of an unexpected change to my lifestyle.

i'm still craving beer though - that's not like me at all. i think once i stock up on carbonated beverages, i'll be ok.

worried about the stock levels of healthy food in the house - i ran out of rice already (i can't remember eating it all, i can't) but luckily i have some quinoa (it's pronounce Keen-Wah) to tide me over until i can run to the shops.

i need more vegetables, though. i don't feel i'm eating enough greens.

Happiness Is: weetiebix

...workoutworkoutpickupthosefeetyouscum

Neato Workout Kept Together By The Thought Of A Day Off Tomorrow
1 x neato warm up
1 x neato set biceps
1 x neato set triceps (not so neato actually, those things are killing me)
1 x neato set sneaky core
1 x neeeato warm down uber fat burning bit
1 x deleted scene showing 5 minutes of emma thompson's amazing stage presence

oh - i am so glad i managed to keep to the timetable on these this week, boy i'm going to enjoy heroes tomorrow without having to shudder through five minutes of wobbly exercise bike penance.

Worst Craving Of The Day: beer, man. ugh.

Best Bit Of The Exercise: finishing with with a strong-man clench of the arms - ggrrrrrrr!! yeah, that's some good muscles.

The Order Of The Phoenix

Micro-quesadilla With Brown Rice Binge
1 x co-op chicken which is teenie tiny and not as lean as the tesco stuff, which i will grumble about every time i think of it
1 x sackful of mixed spices
1 x slightly not-fresh brown tortilla (bummer)
2 x helpings of brown rice, to curb rice craving - oh, but it's sooooooo good.
1 x handful of half fat mozzy cheese
1 x blob of buffalo wings sauce to make it alllll gooooood

...in which the co-op shrunken chicken bits are presented for inspection and fail to meet the high standards set by tesco; half a barrel of rice is consumed rather than let the poor thing go to waste; diet coke is pined for, but not forthcoming; mars bars are resisted at least three times.

Not Looking Forward To: workout tonight - stiff from last night my poor old shoulders are.

Snacking: To Snack; I Snack; You Snack; She Snacks

Turkey Platter Sans Fruit
1 x usual turkey slices
2 x ry/i/vita with quark
1 x just a little too much pepper that came out all in one go, but hey - it's all good, man
0 x fruit (can't be bothered)
Non-carbonated sugar free beverage

i'll have a tangerine later, but for now, i'm thinking i have to get some more sunflower seeds to fuel my seed habit.

Film Rating Of The Day: "Contains drug use, adult language and animated bare breasts."

Singing The Turkey Rasher Song

Glad-To-Have-It-Back Protein-filled Breakfast
2 x turkey rashers
1 x half fat cheese slice (so much easier to prepare than carefully manipulating the laws of gravity while arranging mozzy balls in strategic places for the purposes of microwaving)
2 x egg whites
1 x slice seeded bread batch goodness
1 x bit o pepper as i missed it yesterday
1 x expert manner in kitchen thanks to being so good at making this tasty breakfast now
1 x warm cup of morning tea (always the best cup of tea in the day)

...it's soooo good to be back on track with this regime today - i missed it yesterday while out in the harsh world of trans-fats.

Wondering: at how much my chosen-dietry habits have changed in just one week

P.M.S. Moments: clashing dirty dishes from last night in sink at half eight in the morning; "they're not my dishes" indignance; thinking wistfully of my usual microwave dish which is unclean and unusable until further notice

Trundle, Trundle, Trundle.

Post-Burger, Guilt-Energized Workout
1 x ten minutes of procrastination to gear poor old moping heart into workout mode
1 x 5 - minutes warm-up cardio
1 x bicep set with strong, experienced forearms et al doing their thang
1 x tricep set with worryingly wobbly arms
1 x core excercises that i'm almost positive aren't doing anything
1 x last five minutes of uber fat burning cardio

...which actually all felt really good, though there was a break in the middle where i had to write a quick list for dad to remember my deli-turkey, lest my snacks tomorrow grow pale and uninteresting. i was proud in a small way that i did end up doing the workout, even though i really felt like i could just sit and watch the simpsons as i usually do, with a cigarette and a cup of strong tea. and it'll be good to stick to the workout excercise regime to the letter this week, instead of buggering up like i did last week.

Best Bit: being in the middle of the workout and feeling happy to be working off burger-lbs

Worst Bit: feeling indifferent towards the simpsons

Burger And A Beer - Oh Dear.

Coco V Burger With Cheese
1 x tasty tasty coco v burger
1 x helping of mozzy cheese (not half fat, not by a long shot)
1 x small portion of fat crispy chips
0 x salad (as if)
2 x diet cokes
1 x pint kronenberg

so... so sue me. i'll work it off tonight, have another healthy 5-factor meal, and be right on track for the rest of the week.

does it sound like i'm trying to convince myself? then maybe i shouldn't be eyeing up the twixes in the fridge.

Guilt Caused By: Fatty Tasty Goodness (FTG)

Guilt assuaged* By: knowing it was a total one-off which i'll be more prepared for next time. maybe i'll rearrange my normal cheat day, it's easier that way.

Guilt Re-Inforced By: recurring panicky feeling

Clair De Lune

Cheat Day Anxiety?
1 x weetabix
1 x splishy splashy of semi-skimmed milk
1 x minispoon sweetner
1 x advent choc

i don't know what i'm going to do for the business lunch today - but i'm going to cross that burger when i come to it.

Radio 2 Track Causing Ponderment Of Laura Brannigan: Gloria

Busy Weekend Of Nothing

Happily Cheated, Happily Back
well, i had my cheat day yesterday in which i found that i am happier living in a state of diet. So i'm back to weetabix, turkey rashers and ry/i/vita.

Though not all at once - three hour intervals still apply, tsk tsk.

Best Movie Watched Of The Day: Elf

Best Movie Duet Watched Yesterday: Evolution and Ghostbusters - an Ivan Reitman festival of shenanigannery

Diet Anxiety: tomorrow's meeting with work people over business lunch (i feel a second cheat day coming on)

Week One Over

A Bit Of A Catch-up, You Know
Well this is week one pretty much over (though tomorrow is really the 7th day), but it's my first "cheat day" today, so it feels like i've got to the end of a small, quietly meaningful mile.

It's not been a dreadfully hard week, but it's been challenging at times - so it's felt like a i'm makin' a change that needed a-makin'. The excercise has been the hardest regime to fit around living with other (often grumpy) people, as i don't live in a mansion (or even have access to a big enough room) to work out in. so that's something to work on - i do think it's the most important part of the dieting process for a work-at-home computer geek bordering easily on the plump side.

Possible Weight Lost But Could Be Completely Wrong Due To Shoddy Scales: 2lb

Cheat-binge Tally At Time Of Publishing:
2 x toast with butter and beef spread
1 x mars bar
2 x weetabix (gasp!)

General Diet Mood: amiable & encouraged

At Last! A New Meal Tackled.

Mooklicious Chicken Curry
1 x bunch of chicken left from the beginning of the week (thoroughly examined for offness)
1 x 2/3 small pot half fat yogurt
1 x sackful of spicey goodness (curry powder, paprika, pepper, salt, something else i can't remember)
1 x drizzle of extra virgin olive oil
1 x bunch of clingfilm
1 x 1/2 pouch of brown rice

zomg, this went really well - v tasty, although attempted very late in the evening. i even found time for ten minutes marinating.

Favourite Implement Of The Meal: brand new pyrex dish. great!

Quaint Comedy Of The Evening: the armstrong & miller show (though not to be viewed near parental support unit, it's a bit blue)

The Lie-In King

Mini Quesadilla Extravaganza
1 x mini fillet o chicken diced to within an inch of its life
1 x soft, floury, wholesome Old El Paso tortilla
1 x handful half-fat mozzy cheese
spice mixture with extra spice: cumin, paprika, pepper, salt, onion powder, garlic salt
1 x mini dash extra virgin olive oil, spread expertly around the pan with my new pastry brush
2 x glob of salsa - one to cook in, one for smearing purposes
1/3 bag of Tilda brown rice - seems such a waste, but dad wouldn't be pressed on the matter so the rest went in the bin...
handful of water to stop the cooking part going very dry and icky
1 x smell of burning chicken

...in which beth realizes her full wok-hypocrisy and burns her own pan. Really must find another lunch-time treat, though(never! ha! i love quesadillas!). Preparing self mentally for the half-fat curry tonight with veggies.

Love: pre-grated half-fat mozzy cheese

Hate: cooking the same thing every day out of simplicity and a desire to find the archetype of half-fat quesadillas

Ambivalent State: incurred by beans today

Funkungfusion

Dee-licious Snackable Involving Tesco Turkey
2 x ry/i/vita wafted over a carton of quark cheeeese
2 x bits of turkey slices
1 x bucketload of pepper
1 x pinch o salt
1 x diet soda
1 x apple (green)

...in which i grow weary of father-type mess.

Most Sincere Amazon.co.uk Apology: "Beth, we're sorry."

Best Bit Of The Snack: post-prandial cigarette

Up, Bustle & Out

A Relatively Ordinary Breakfast
1 x weetiebix
1 x splishy splash of semi-skimmed milk
1 x half spoon of sweetener to mask weetabix taste thoroughly

weetabix - nom nom nom. with this in mind, i was ever so pleased to find a reference to a "high-fibre wholegrain cereal" as a breakfast option in my now-hallowed bible.

in an attempt to prevent white-of-the-egg based complications, i went a-hunting in the tesco cereal aisle. surprised to find myself thinking of the non-healthy foods as The Enemy, i was indeed prepared to be scouring the shelves for a sawdust-related by-product of wood. three packs entered and left my basket (price, price, tesco own brand - to be trusted? no.) until i came upon my trusty weetabix. which announced right on the box - high-fibre, wholegrain cereal.

happy to have a little less in the old breakfast department, i must admit.

Day Most Anticipated: my first cheat day, tomorrow. i don't know what i'll have! it will involve pizza or pasta though.

Unpleasant Horoscope Imagery Of The Day: "Wild ideas sprouted in your head like mushrooms on a fertile marsh."

The Big Tesco Shop

Giant Shopping Expedition With Uber Interesting Tips Surrounded By A Haze Of Yogurt-Coated Raisins Shame
having run out of seedy bread(gasp!) and turkey rashers(swoon!) i decide to make a mega list of ingredients compiled straight from my bible. Boy, it was a mega list.

But i couldn't find my rolled oats. I feel this is prophetic in many ways. However i did find nearly everything else, and have compiled this handy tip-selection for your tesco-shopping convenience:

almost all the ingredients that i couldn't find straight off were squirrelled near the bottom of the shelves - all the healthy living stuff, all the unusual ingredients, all the cheaper spices

i actually saved actual money of substance when i had onion powder, garlic salt, and cinnamon in my hand - all premium-brand, right - but found there was a whooole pound off for each of these when i bought tesco's own brand - i saved £3!! i can't quite get over it

healthy living cheese is expensive yet addictive, and comes in many addiction-sustaining varieties (i spent a lot on my cheese habit this week, but it's all lasted well, and tasty treats abound from this)

the brown rice i eat and waste so carelessly from the Tilda brand is soooo much cheaper than the normal variety! and the taste difference is negligible, says this observer.

the whole foods section at tesco is surprising filled with ingredients like Substance X and interesting bean-based concoctions

a tin of mandarins is cheaper than getting a bunch of tangerines, and you can always have both by encouraging your mother to buy the tangerines.

ry/i/vita is not as nice as "original cracker bread" and can't compete in the cardboard-like texture department

turkey slices are a lot more expensive than they used to be when i was younger

as is bread

this new-found knowledge is indispensable, so i felt i should pass it on to you guys.

Shame Of The Day: yogurt coated raisins.

Important Diet-Related Spiritual Change Of The Week: thinking yogurt-coated raisins are a) a sinful treat b) better than chocolate

I Needs Me Spinach

Trembling Workout On Wobbly Bike / Floorboards
1 x five minute warm-up in excercise shorts on squeaky bike
2 x set 20 reps bicep curls
2 x set 15 reps terrifying tricep curls involving much in the way of unstable behind-the-head action
2 x 10 reps sneaky core excerice
0 x five minute warm-down excercise on squeaky bike on account of i ran out of energy

having yet to lack the dignity needed to use a gym ball in my gym/front room, i'm still sorta stuck doing the deceptively easy core excercises which seem to endanger my poor old back, so i'm going to dig out some others to compliment my sweaty-pig regime. i do seem to give my trusty old bike a hard time, but it is sturdy enough to support my daily workout; it just doesn't do it quietly, and seems to find the damaged floorboard all by itself.

Distraction Television During Workout: the sad, sad end of the revenge of the sith - i admit fully that i often fill up to this movie

Hero Of The Day: yoda

Shock Bodily Function During This Blog Entry: 100kph sneeze

Snacks Hurrah!

Turkeylicious Snacks On Ry/i/vita
3 x crispy goodness in the form of previously untasty ry/i/vita
3 x bits of the nice deli turkey left over from this morning
1 x taaaall glass of orange juice
2 x suplimentary handfuls of sunflower seeds

...woot! and now i have to prepare for my second diet shop, which should be a bit less bamboozling when i'm not using one hand to read a hardback book in a moving vehicle at night.

Saviour Of The Day: my intellect, which handily remembered that i could snack instead of lunch!

Sucks.

No Lunch Today Because Of Stupid People Coming To The House
2 x awfully unfulfilling-looking handfuls of sunflower seeds
1 x lukewarm tea
1 x pervasive smell of kippers

bloody, bloody work. first, i couldn't get in the kitchen for the parental support unit cooking yukky kippers in a yukky haze, then i was going to rustle up some lunchy goodness, and now there's people in the house, so i can't get in the kitchen. swines.

this is all made worse by the fact there's a pork pie in the fridge i could be worrying right now.

Irritation Of The Day: knawing hunger with no way to assuage it / appetite ruined by the kitchen having the smell of all yuk in it.

Redemption Of The Day: realising i could stop whinging and have me another ubersnack whilst kicking people out of the way! hurrah!

Editorial Anxiety Of The Day: noticing that i've used the word "assuaged" twice on one blog page / wondering if i could sneak in "bourgeoise" again without anyone noticing

Family Guy

Ubergood Turkey On Crackers
4 x ry/i/vita crackers with quark (is there a ry/i/vita addicts anonymous? is there?)
4 x slices of "deli-style turkey" - often referred to, rarely seen
1 x seasoning of the pepper variety
1 x sprinkle o salt for the slightly too-dry turk-ley
1/2 of the rest of the christmassy mandarins - ho. ho. ho.
fresh pot of tea

oh - oh - oh sooooooo good. thank god i bullied my dad into getting me turkey slices from the co-op. sooooo worth it.

Icky Sticky Moment: quarkonmyfingers! quarkonmyfingers! aghh! getitoff! getitoff!

Best Family Guy Moment Experienced While Eating: meg's road rage in the slightly-off-colour season 6...

DJ Shadow

Turkey-less Breakfast Brunch
0 x turkey rashers because i ate them last night and now i'm rueful
2 x thin nimble bread that goes even thinner when you toast it
2 x (eep!) egg whites - oh, hell - watch this space for more on the "will i turn into an egg, and if so, will i just be the white?" experiments
1 x half fat cheese slice, zapped to perfection
1 x first cup of tea of the day - the best cup, as everyone knows
1 x wine glass of fruit juice

...in which i didn't really miss the turkey, and the egg should cover the protein. the cheese slice stole the show with its no-nonsense professionalism in the face of being microwaved - a nice, even melt - good spread, good spread.

Aesthetic Diet Moment Of The Day: putting the cheese slice on the egg in a pleasingly symmetrical triangle formation

Bourgeoise Moment Of The Day: drinking fruit juice out of a wine glass at half eight in the morning

Heroes

Quick-fix Dinner With No Time To Spare And Egg Craving Satiating Evening-Breakfast
2 x egg whites - professionally seperated, boy i'm getting good at that
2 x "nimble" brown bread, purchased only by weight watchers dieters the world over - pleurgh. pleurgh.
2 x the last of the turkey rashers (sob)
2 x sneaky sprays of the fake butter compound

well, i missed my turkey rashers this morning, although i'm seriously worried about my intake of egg whites. my consolation is that i must be working them off, but i should probably consume some oily fish to counter the cholesterol. which i'm not looking forward to. this brings into the debate my strange empathy for sea-dwelling creatures. though not a sea-dweller myself, i do feel sad for little fishies what get caught. chickens and turkies annoy me, so my guilt is assuaged there. but poor fishes.

having said that, i'm going to get a tuna steak for tomorrow unless i want to run the risk of becoming an egg white.

Guilt Of The Day: twix-sniffing

Anxiety Of The Day: too many eggs spoil the beth?

The Simpsons

Cute Platter Of Stuff And Extra Stuff From Tins
2 x ryvita (have i been spelling it wrong?)
2 x scrapings of quark
1/2 tin of mandarins - nom nom nom
storehouse full of pepper
tasty ginger pop

...i'm still unashamedly not bored with these snacks, but i'm aware that they may be palling on the diet diaries blogfans, so i'm going to try something different tomorrow... i swear.

Tastes Like Christmas Trifle: that'll be the mandarins

Most Missed Ingredient To Compliment Snacky: that weird fluffly cream that goes on a christmas trifle, complete with cheap-chocolatey hundreds and thousands

The Revenge Of The Sith

Quesadillllas v3.0
2 x macro-fillets of chicken
1/4 can of chick peas, for terrorism purposes
dollop of salsa
2 x the longest-lasting tortillas in the world, ever! volume 1
1 x sackful black pepper and the usual array of spices
1/6 tescos bag of Substance X
4 x huffy half-fat mozzy balls

...in which chick peas were found to explode loudly when exposed to microwaves, mozzy balls are outed as fickle beasts and Substance X is revealed to be an alien substance known as quinoa. it's pronounced keen-wah, you know. i didn't have the heart (or the appetite) to eat the chick peas in the end - their sad, empty husks lie now in my sink.

Interesting Cover Discovered On Radio 1 By Happy Accident: Teardrop by Massive Attack covered by people that sounded like Audioslave, but i don't know - i thought Jose Gonzales did a cover, too.

Temper Flared By: southern radio presenter declaring the tyne bridge to be over-rated.

Stuff-To-Be-Picked-Out-Of-Teeth Of The Year Award Goes To: quinoa (it's pronounced keen-wah, you know).

Temptations To Be Resisted: pack of 6 mars bars in fridge.

Frasier

Meagre Breakfast Which Harley Would Disapprove Of Mightily
2 x slices of wonderful seedbread (i call it lembas in my head)
2 x smidgens of scraped butter (the horror! the horror!!)
1 x smoothie from aldi which will probably turn out to be soylent green
1 x pilfered handful of sunflower seeds
1 x shrink-wrapped turkey rasher

after peeling myself off've the excercise bike, i really couldn't face an egg-white, so i just had toast. and then i remembered my soylent smoothie, so i popped that on the table to make it look more healthy, then i thought "no protein!" and was less dead by this time so i bunged one rasher of turkey bacon in the microwave with the clingfilm to prevent nasty yuk. this did not go well, but i do now have a shrink-wrapped turkey rasher in my kitchen. in years to come, advanced civilisations will discover my plastic rasher and declare that the northpeople in ancient times struggled against the odds to provide polymer food disguised as meat.

Worrying Horoscope Prediction Of The Day: "Be on the lookout for airborne objects."

Just Shoot Me

1 x five minutes excercise bike hell
2 x bunch of biceps n triceps shenanigans
1 x not-so-sneaky-any-more core excercise thing - i'm whupping its ass
1 x five minutes excercise bike cardio fat-burning bit that supposedly burns more at the end or something (i read the book, but i don't claim to understand it fully - if i did, surely i wouldn't be in the position of a fat lass writing a diet blog??)

ew, gross! i just looked up "Shenanigans" in google to check my spelling and there's a club in Indiana that's "where couples go for fun". well, i couldn't budge my dad from gordon ramsey's kitchen nightmares last night, so i had to re-arrange my "no-excercise day" two days into the plan. and i was looking forward to doing this thing to the letter, too [half of a half of a twix notwithstanding]. so i had to bustle myself out of bed early and flop onto the wobbly excerise bike of doom before i even thought about breakfast.

Most Hated Sitcom Actor Of The Day: David Spade

Least Hated Sitcom Actor Of The Day: John Mahoney

ZOMG Dinner!!1

I-Finally-Get-To-Cook-A-Dinner Breaded Chicken With Squished Vegetables
5 x bits of those lovely chicken mcfillets that are rapidly becoming my favourite thing ever
1/2 clove of real garlic - none of that "powder" stuff - yuk - pleurgh
1/2 fiendishly strong onion
lots of bits of fresh broccoli
1 x sweet potato
crumbly bread for breadcrumbs
pepper, curry powder, salt, paprika
tall glass of that robinsons barley stuff
the rest of that lovely bean stuff - very sad to see it go

...in which i cooked my first ever sweet potato, managed to make the stir-fry veggies thoroughly squishy instead of crispy, but the day was saved when everything came out tasting happily of curry (though not on purpose).

Lingering Smell Of The Day: steamed brocolli

Anxious Moment Tally: sweet potato too hot to peel or manipulate in any way possible; no stale bread for crumbing; chicken strips took too long to strip, whilst in background veggies squished themselves meaningfully.

Quesadilla Mania Sans Burning Kettle

Stir-fry Chicken Quesadillas With Buffalo Wing Sauce
2 x squeenie fillety chicken things
1 x half pouch of microwavable brown rice (surely the best thing since bread came sliced?)
1 x half a half a can of tasty bean stuff. i think i'll have to use it up or it'll just be to throw away...
1 x tasty combo of oodles of pepper (again - is it possible to eat too much?), cumin, salt, paprika
1 x smidgen buffalo wings sauce
1 x handful of water because the chicken looked like it was drying out and there's nothing worse than dry chicken in a salsa scenario
2 x strange smelling brown tortillas
1 x trusty microwave grill combo
tea to taste

Interesting Yet Fairly Unsupported Fact Gleaned From Talk Radio: blue eyed people may be more attractive because their eyes are clearer when their pupils dilate

Temptation Nearly Resisted To The Last: half a half a twix

Daily Ponder: do buffalos really have wings?

Elevences

Tasty Tasty Platter
1 x tangerine squirreled away in a secret place - hurrah!
3 x crispybreads with icky sticky quarkTM
1 x generous helping of sunflower seeds
1 x it-doesn't-count handful of seeds during preparation
1 x banana for looking-at purposes, but not for eating-of purposes

well, i consulted my bible, and there should be at least 5g of fibre in each meal, but i'm not sure at all about this figure - i'm going to have to look up tangerine fibre content thingies somewhere, or it'll go very badly for me.

Conspiricy Theories Formed During The Morning: small plate shortage due to a) aliens or b) dad.

Happy Song In Head: 1-2-3-4 / Feist [ that girl off the iPod nano video advert, which of course Apple brought out after i became the proud owner of a green 4GB original ]

Another day, another breakfast

Open Baconny Sarnie Thing
2 x yummy turkey rashers (which seem too thick to be enitrely healthy)
2 x egg whites fluffed and seasoned and gushied up
2 x strangely addictive seed bread stuff
3 x half fat mozzy balls in place of the grated cheese that i used up yesterday

totally worth it to see mozzy balls nuked in the microwave: solid to stringy cheesey goodness in thirty radioactive seconds - it's like a dairy T1000!

Favourite Breakfast-Making Implement Of The Day: wooden spatula that marks not my precious wok.

Radio Show Disappointment Of The Morning: Terry Wogan, who seems only to play a sad mixture of Katie Melua and Mary Black. Whatever happened to Abba, Terry?

Running The Workout Gauntlet

1 x pre-cardio quick cigarette to loosen the valves
1 x 5 minute cardio on wobbly excercise bike
2 x dyke muscle workouts with 3 sets of 25 reps each
1 x sneaky core excercise set that feels deceptively easy but sneaks up on you
1 x this-will-kill-me last five minutes of cardio on wobbly excercise bike (repositioned to allow for watching of corination street by parental support system)

Beth's Excercise Tips For Home Workout: time workout sessions to co-incide with complete absence of parental support unit; in the event of unexpected visits by relations during muscle toning, persist in appearing as unconventional as possible by muttering in the manner of popeye.

Snack 2

2 x crispy bread things with that now-familiar scraping of quark cheese
1 x meagre-looking handful of sunflower seeds
my mam's last tangerine (she'll kill me)
orange barley stuff made with lemonade - luxury

...i screwed up my eating times (god help me, i just can't do hour-maths) so i'm having a late snack and unfortunately nothing else this evening, even though i've expended quite a large portion of my sunflower-seed-calories in keeping the kitchen tidy for the last meal of the day am beginning to crave the broccoli i've passed all day. nevermind, i do feel fairly full (which is as His Holiness Harley predicted) so all's well.

Haughty Snack Moment: declining my dad's request to use my £20 wok (a.k.a. Wokkie Okkie, of whom many songs are still sung). if he can prove he can use it without giving in to temptation and a) cooking yukky fish in it or b) applying metal implements to it's beautifully unscathed non-stick surface that gleams richly in the morning, then we may have grounds for negotiation.

Lunch

Quesadillas With Chicken And Stuff
2oz cute chicken minifillets from tescos (2 for a fiver, result!)
2 x relatively flavourless wholegrain tortillas
half of a half of a can of mixed bean salad (in yummy vinegrette, but i had to drain it - boo hiss)
tiny weeny handful of low fat cheese
lovely warm cup of tea
half a rivita whilst i was waiting for the chicken to cook (just in case it tasted different from before, in the interests of science)
spices galore (pepper, paprika, more pepper, salt, cumin, more pepper)
a whole bunch of that cooking spray stuff that's meant to taste like butter but smells more like something really sweet's on fire.
smidgen of buffalo wings salsa-esque sauce to make you believe you're not being deprived.

...in which i had fun coating the chicken in spices, but caused something in the kitchen to smell like electrical burning. had to work out what half a cup was in british measurements. also what ounces are in grams. for those of you trying similar culinary experiments at home, 2oz is just enough to fill two tortillas. no, i can't remember, so i'll have to work it out all over again tomorrow. actually, i can utterly recommend this meal - v. tasty although not as easy to prepare as i've made it sound...

Radio Show Listened To Whilst Eating: mark, of mark and lard fame filling in for steve wright on radio 2. it was ok but... i wanted more.
Top Tip Discovered In Preparation: move your kettle away from your microwave-grill-combo's vent when heating.
Anxious Moments: wondering if it's possible to cobble together a "toaster oven" out of paper clips and elastic bands; aforementioned unknown burning smell and was-it-the-microwave-after-all-conundrum; having to touch cold beans out of the tin; necessary fetching of healthy ingredients from behind pork pies in fridge; recurring pork pie fantasies throughout afternoon.

Snack 1

Platter-esque Of Many Healthy Things
3 x rivita (2 with quark soft cheesey stuff scraped on and then scraped off, as i wasn't sure what it was going to taste like)
1 x handful of sunflower seeds (apparently full of protein-calorie goodness)
4 x half fat mozzarella balls, fished out from their weird watery dwelling
1 x tiny weenie tangerine because i couldn't find an apple to peel and cut into appetising bits
Pepper on the quark stuff
Sugar-free carbonated beverage
Half a rivita whilst preparing, just to see
Tea towel to wipe the mozzarella yuk off my hands
Cigarette, on completion of a snack platter well prepared

Well... the Quark was tastier than i'd suspected it to be - it looks like what i can only describe as "stuff". But pepper makes everything good, and it was surprisingly unlike cardboard.

Tune In My Head Whilst Preparing: Peter & The Wolf / Sergey Prokofiev
Munching Music: More Beats N' Pieces [live] / Coldcut :: Ninja Tunes Label

Breakfast

Open Bacon & Egg Samwidge
2 x turkey rashers
2 x egg whites (seperating is fun!)
2 x seeded bread slices (yuk - brown - but i'm getting used to the indigestion)
1 x Snifter of low fat grated cheese
Pounds and pounds of cracked black pepper to taste
1 x Bemused expression to watch the turkey rashers go round and round in the microwave.

Ok, so. I'm Doing A Diet. It's been pointed out (by my latest dieting book) that fad diets don't work (does anyone else appreciate the delicious, fat-free irony of that?) and dear old Harley lists many reasons why this is so. He's uber clever, him. I think he went to university, or night-classes, or read a lot of diet books or something. Anyway, he's my latest guru, and i'm all up for giving myself over to someone who can look graceful on a gym ball. I tend to roll off.